Posted by: gtcounseling | March 27, 2010

An Unexpected Pregnancy

Dear Ms. Miller,
I’ve been stressed out. I think I’m pregnant but my boyfriend don’t want to talk to me because he thinks I cheated on him. The last time we had sex we used a condom so I’m wondering how this could be. I’m really scared because I don’t know what to do. I need your help.
Thank You,


Hi Stacia,

Well, the first thing to do that would help the most is to determine if you really are pregnant or not. Thinking you are but not knowing for sure isn’t doing much good and sounds like it is only increasing your anxiety and fear. My advice is to get tested and find out for sure. It may turn out that you are not and your worries are unfounded. However, if you test positive and realize that you are pregnant you’ll be in a better position to fully accept the pregnancy and begin to deal with what that means in your life. You and your boyfriend will then have to face it together if he is willing. If not, you will have to face it yourself. It does little good to worry about it though until you know for certain.

I also believe that saying you ‘don’t know how this could be’ after the fact is not being honest with yourself. All forms of birth control are not 100% effective and condoms have one of the lowest rates of reliability due to the fact they can have small ruptures or simply break during intercourse. Going forward, it’s best to be honest with yourself and admit that if you decide to have sexual relations regardless of what form of birth control you use that the possibility of getting pregnant always exists. 

Each of us  needs to be aware that all of our actions and choices have consequences and sex is no different Stacia. As a young woman choosing to have sex prior to marriage, you need to be wise and be aware that you are choosing a risky behavior that can end up in pregnancy and/or disease. That’s just stating the facts and as much as it’s hard to accept it is the truth. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn to make wise choices that don’t place you at risk.   I hope things work out for you Stacia, and that if are going to face a pregnancy that your boyfriend will come along side you and help you. 


Carole L. Miller, LCSW-C



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