Posted by: gtcounseling | April 7, 2012

Trusting God And Others Along The Way

Hello,

My name is Judith. It looks as though you are a Christian counselor.  I am having a real hard time with the idea of getting help from someone other than God.  I see a psychiatrist, but we do not talk. He just gives me depression medication and I am having problems with taking it .  I feel I should have enough faith in the Lord to heal me.  I would like to know your thoughts on this.  My psychiatrist also does not recommend therapy. He thinks the medicines will do the job, but I would really like to be off medicine one day and able to cope with my life.  I truly don’t like talking about my life to anyone.  I am painfully aware that it is human nature to judge or change one’s perceptions of someone once they know certain things.  I have been through a lot in life and was sexually abused as a child. I have no memories of my childhood. They are completely repressed, but I have no choice but to believe because I lived it.  My step father committed suicide.  My mother tried after him.  While in college I met a bad boy, who I wanted to fix, got pregnant and dropped out of school.  This derailed my whole life and I have not been able to get back on track. I have been afraid to try ever since and I feel like I can only fail now.  My son was born with a heart defect and was diagnosed with autism, and my daughter is diagnosed with non-verbal autism.  It is really hard raising the two of them because I constantly question if I am doing it right or if they even understand what I tell them.  I have a lot to learn and know I need to be less afraid of failing. My main question is, how do I let God give me the power to believe in me?  I know he never gives us more than we can handle but sometimes it feels as if he overestimated my abilities.  I have been stuck in the same place of no growth for 8 years now.  How and where do I start to make some changes?

Thanks, Judith

 

Dear Judith,

Thanks for writing in. You have a lot packed into your share here and I believe the best thing you can do right now is to start covering ‘the basics’ of healing through God and then progressing from there as you’re able. Sometimes taking that first step can be scary, but God doesn’t want you to stay stuck and He is in the business of continually redeeming us to Himself. And remember, this isn’t a race and there is no ‘finish line’ either. There is only your personal relationship with God and the healing journey you’re on with Him. You said that you feel you’ve been stuck for 8 years now, but your simple awareness and desire to ‘move forward’ is great. Sometimes our timing is slow, but He will guide you in all things can do wonders for getting ‘unstuck’ even when it seems like we’re just barely ‘hanging on’ in life.

One of the first things that comes to mind for me regarding those that struggle with trust and bonding to others, is a need for a deeper and more personal healing through God within the body of Christ. Sometimes we try to be the ‘Lone Christian’ (aka Lone Ranger analogy), and believe that we have to take this healing journey ourselves and should be able to do it on our own. You said, “I feel I should have enough faith in the Lord to heal me.” While this can be applied in some situations easier than others, this is often too simplistic of a spiritual platitude that we beat ourselves up with. And so, when the storms of life come and beat us down, and they will come, it reinforces that belief of shame, failure, worthlessness, hopelessness, etc.

The best antidote for this is fellowship with other genuine, safe people who will help you build on your relationship with God on a safe level. This can be with a small group of woman in a bible study for instance, or a Christian recovery group like Celebrate Recovery, or even in a one-on-one therapeutic relationship with a Christian counselor. You can make the choice, but it does involve stepping out in faith and relying on God to guide you to the right relationship connections for you at this time. No one can be that ‘Lone Christian’ and achieve true healing which is why God instituted the church and scripture commands us to bear each others burdens, not to forsake our gathering together, pray for one another consistently and so forth. We are a community of believers for a reason, because God knows that we all need each other.

Secondly, I don’t know why a psychiatrist would discourage anyone from seeking therapy who truly wanted to work through some of the tough issues you mentioned. I think that finding a good, trusted personal counselor in your area, a Christian one if you desire, where you can work through those long-standing issues of probable sexual abuse, parental suicide and dysfunctional family issues, depression, crisis of your faith, feelings of failure, current parenting stresses and more, would do you a world of good. I believe that these are very sensitive issues to you and a good professional can help you sort through it all in a confidential and caring, professional manner. I also think it’s a good thing to be hopeful about being off of medication one day if you’re able to be. This is also an area where trust in God for guidance is required. For some people, working through old issues and hurts helps in that process, though its different for everyone as there are several considerations involved. Continued work with a trusted psychiatrist is important and he/she should be committed to listening to you and helping you in the healing process.

Judith, I hope this sharing on the basics of Christian relationships and bonding with others, while trusting God to guide you, helps you make some decisions even if it is to move forward just a little bit in your life. I pray for God’s continued help with your healing journey and that you can truly find your way to leaning on Him and trusting Him every step of the way.

Sincerely,

Carole Miller, LCSW-C

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